Back to the drawing board…

Though I did hear back from my great Tuesday night date, Scott, on Wednesday via text message saying “See you soon?” – I haven’t heard from him since. Is it too soon for me to be wondering? Do I need to find a hobby? Or maybe just another date…I shouldn’t be putting all of my figurative eggs in one basket.

Photo by Thanker212 via Flickr.com

I asked a straight male friend last night what he thought about my situation, and he said that it definitely sounded a little weird and off. He said that if he liked a girl, he’d make sure to make a plan right away. Oh well. I guess I have to go back to the “easy come, easy go” mindset. Sigh. I just don’t get it. We had a great date, he even went so far as to kiss me (twice!) and then text me the next day. I mean, yes, anything could have happened. Maybe he met his Ms. Right on Thursday night. Anything is possible. Who knows? But I really liked him…I’m not giving up completely, but I guess I’m going to have to go back to the drawing board and fill up my dating calendar so I can get my mind off of it.

I’m over OKCupid.com by the way. I check that site often as they have an iPhone app (makes it handy) and I think because it is a free site, there are a lot of random-pants losers and possible creeps on it. If you think about it, why would a man have to make any kind of commitment on a free site? No wonder it’s so popular! Commitment and men are like opposing ends of a magnet – never the twain shall meet… ugh, I sound so negative. I have to change that mind-set right away. Negativity is just so unattractive!

UPDATE: I just got a text message from Scott! He wants to know if I’m free at all next week! Hooray! Looks like I’ve got another Tuesday night date!

What a difference a date makes!

Wow! I am in such a different state of mind right now to where I was three days ago! The date last night went so incredibly well – like, the total opposite of last Saturday night!! I really, really hope that I can keep this one…I’m putting that out into the Universe…pretty please let me keep him!!

So, a little background: First, let me call him “Scott”. He’s slightly younger than I am (a little less than two years younger), but he’s more educated, has a really good and impressive job, and he’s super cute: He could be Ashton Kutcher’s doppelganger. No joke!

He got a lot of points right off the bat because he made a plan to meet up at this bar that was on my way home from the L train. Thoughtful! And then after doing some research, he found out that the bar he chose was closed, so he chose another (also on my way home) that just happened to be one of my favorite places in the neighborhood. It’s a Turkish bar/restaurant and has a great atmosphere, and is very romantic too.

He arrived at 6:30pm, wearing a suit but with a t-shirt underneath instead of a dress shirt (very cute, shows that he wants to make a good first impression on me!) I had gotten there a little earlier, had already ordered my glass of wine and was sitting at the bar. He joined me, and we exchanged some travel stories at first, and then my glass was empty before his was. Funny thing happened next, the bartender bought me a drink. (I wonder if he was trying to keep me there longer? Give my date some more time to warm up to me?) After that, Scott then suggested dinner, which I usually do not do (I like to do dinner on a second date – why use up all the good background info conversation on the first date?) But since I was hungry and two glasses of wine into the date, I agreed. In his research, he found out that the restaurant was taking part in this thing called “Dine in Brooklyn” which is basically a prix fixe menu for Brooklyn Restaurant Week. I didn’t even know it was happening, so that was a total bonus! I love restaurant week!

We made sure to order different things so we could try each others plates (also, cute!) and it was just a really nice time. We had really good conversation, he’s had some interesting life experience, and he was funny. He’s also a musician and singer in a band (on the side) which is pretty cool. I like creative people. All in all, it was a nice evening! Oh! And I forgot to mention that he’s from Canada originally. So he says certain words funny. I found it adorable (maybe for other people it’d be annoying but he was cute…)

Anyway, we split the check (yes, this was my only “uh oh” moment, but whatever, it’s not a deal breaker) and then we walked to the corner together (and I noticed how tall he really was – over 6 feet – love that ’cause I’m a tall girl!) and he kissed me and said he would like to hang out again sometime and so I said “me too!” and he kissed me again…and then we had to head in opposite directions. Time check: 10:30pm – it was a 4 hour first date! Woo-hoo!

Please, please, please let him call me!

Frustrated and unhappy.

The nightmare date last night really put me in a foul mood. I woke up this morning depressed and frustrated and just plain miserable. I am so tired of dating. I’ve been doing it for far too long, and though I still have hope that my guy is out there somewhere, I am losing steam looking for him. And the fact that I made such a poor choice in agreeing to go out with that guy last night, after being in such a drunken state, really makes me question my decisions and how I am approaching this whole predicament. Drinking that much is never a good idea. Look at what ends up happening…

I joined OKCupid.com last weekend, and there are tons of guys on that site. But the weird thing is that after I write to someone who piques my interest, he will write me back, answer my questions, and then say: “Good luck with everything!” What the hell is that? Why bother writing me back at all? And it’s happened more than once! I am so confused.

I have a date on Tuesday with a guy I met online at the Onion Personals. He seems normal. Let’s see how it goes…

The Anti-Clooney

Oh. My. God. That was THE absolute worst date I have ever had in my life. THE WORST!!!

I knew from the moment he told me that he hadn’t thought of a plan for our date and that I should just meet him on the street corner by the train, things would not be good. And then he called to ask ME what I would be wearing. I told him jeans, flats and a top. Which is what I wore. All day long. (I did not dress up for this guy, trust me!)

So I got off the train right at 8:30pm, and texted him that I would be waiting on the southeast corner of the street. But he came up from behind me and there was this awkward hug thing (I think he tried to kiss me but that, thankfully, did NOT happen!) He’s wearing a sweatshirt, a dirty baseball cap, and khaki cargo pants. He looks at me and says: “I thought you said you were not going to dress up?” Buddy, I am NOT dressed up. I’m wearing dirty jeans, a tank top that I wore all day with a pretty blouse over it, and flats and I had my trench coat on. So. Not. Dressed. Up.

As we discuss where to go, I notice a whiff of booze, and I think, “Oh, maybe that was some other street smell. We are in the East Village after all.” And then as we talk and walk west toward Union Square, I smell it again. No. F***ing. Way! The guy was DRUNK! That was so incredibly not cool and I’m just thinking, “How the f*** do I get out of here?!”

He asks me if I like artichokes and I said yes, so he decides to take me to this pizza place (a little bit bigger than a pizza stand) that is known for their artichoke and spinach pizza. I had never heard of it, so I asked where it was. He pointed to the line of people that were waiting OUTSIDE the place and said, “See that line of people, that’s it!” I almost died. This is a first date buddy, what are you thinking? Obviously, he was drunk and not thinking.

So we wait in line for 20 minutes and he tells me in his raspy voice how beautiful I look tonight. I am standing with my arms crossed. I reply (every time he tells me how beautiful I look – a total of 6 times!) “Thank you. That is very kind. I am just SO tired.” I refused to ask him anything about him. I answered his questions with brief statements. I found out he’s a handyman/construction worker (nothing wrong with that) and that my friend Sandy apparently got jealous that I gave him my card last night so she gave him her card too. Whatever. She was wondering who called her at 2am last night from a blocked number.

We get the pizza: uber creamy and actually quite good, but it’s gotta be insanely high in calories, and we sit on a bench that is outside, on the street, watching all the homeless go by on 14th Street. I am panicked the entire time that someone I know will see me. I had my eagle eyes peeled looking both directions, and praying to God that my ex-boyfriend (who lives very near that location) would not walk by. That would have killed me. My thought process: If I did run into someone, I would tell them that I was doing volunteer work and that was why I was with this guy. Like a Big Brothers/Big Sisters thing. Who cares if the guy is older than me. Maybe he’s mentally challenged. Yes, that’s it! That’s why I’m here with him, eating extra-fattening pizza with a drunk guy who looks nothing like George Clooney. Oh my gosh, I am still in disbelief that this happened. Holy cow.

He started asking me about where I grew up and I mentioned that my family moved when I was in 5th grade. He then started talking about how he remembered having to go to the big sex ed talk in the 5th grade and how the boys and girls went to separate rooms in the school gym and how it was so weird and intimidating. “Like, why separate the boys from the girls?” And I just wanted to shout: “You idiot! Because it’s different for boys than it is for girls!” But I just said: “It’s different.” Then pizza sauce spilled ALL OVER his pants. O.M.G. Seriously? When he went to get napkins to clean himself up, I thought to myself, “Maybe I should just run away now. He’s inside, I’m on the street, I can just run. I’m wearing flats!” But then he came back.

So we finished up the pizza and he was a gentleman and took my plate to throw away for me. (He also paid for the pizza.) I pointed at a garbage can that was on the way toward the train. As we were walking back east (and towards the train), he, for some reason, decides that he wants to try to hold my hand. I couldn’t believe it. I did this weird maneuver with my arm to keep it away from his, and said “I’m not comfortable with that.” I mean, seriously?! And then when we got to the corner, he asked me which way I would prefer to go for some drinks: uptown or downtown. I said “I’m not feeling well and I’m sorry but I have to go. I have really bad acid reflux.” And then I ran into traffic to cross the street. I. Ran. Into. Traffic. I seriously almost got hit by a car. When I got to the other side of First Avenue, he was right behind me and asked me “What did I do wrong? I’ve never chased a girl away so quickly before.” I just said “I gotta go, goodnight. I’m not feeling well.” And hugged him and ran down the train steps and onto the train. Time check: 9:10pm

This was my punishment for drinking too, too much. Another reason why I prefer online dating.

Spring-like weather in NYC brings out the freaks AND the flirts!

The weather in NYC has been pretty gorgeous and spring-like all week. And it has been a crazy week for me too! I was out four out of five nights since Sunday, and I’m going out tonight and have plans through Thursday night. I’m already exhausted, but it’s better than sitting alone all week.

Anyway, the craziness started on Wednesday. St. Patrick’s Day. There were a bunch of “Irish” freaks on the subway as I was heading into work. Spray painted their hair green, wore green makeup on their faces…lots of shamrocks. And they were LOUD. Obnoxious. I had to be at work a little earlier than I normally am because we were having our bi-annual all day meeting. And because it’s a meeting that lasts all day my co-worker “Sandy” and I went out for drinks afterward to sarcastically recap some of the meeting’s funnier moments. So we’re at the bar at our local Mexican restaurant and OMG we were like man magnets! But not in a good way…

First, this very short, bald guy wearing a fireman’s uniform walks by and is looking for a stool. Our other colleague had literally just left so I offered it to him. His taller, 10% better looking friend suddenly appeared next to him and they decided that they want to chat and buy us drinks. We didn’t say no, because A) it’s a free drink B) our bartender friends will get an even better tip and C) we were bored. So the little guy (HALF MY SIZE) is into me. He lives on Long Island, three blocks from the beach. He was really trying to impress me. I was like, cool, whatever. He then kept going on about my hair and my lips and my eyes and how beautiful and then was rhyming about my lips and my hips (lame) and everything was sexy. This is a sexy meal, that is a sexy fork you’re using… and then dude wants to dance with me (because he’s supposedly an EXCELLENT dancer) and I keep saying no because he’s literally half my size! Can you just imagine what sort of comedy that would be? And then, he asks to take me out on Saturday, to go bowling in Williamsburg, and I was a little more drunk and felt like if I said no, I would be judging him too much based on size so I said okay. He was nice, but I wasn’t really into him and I haven’t even heard from him but if I do, I am going to say no. Sandy actually liked the other guy and he even texted her so she might get a date out of the whole thing…

During that whole ordeal, I went downstairs to use the bathroom, and as I was returning upstairs I passed this old black guy that I met a few months ago (the night I let some drunk dude drive me home – bad idea, I know, I was drunk too and not processing information properly.) This is the same guy who cornered me in that very same spot downstairs that first time I met him and asked for a kiss on the cheek for his birthday so I kissed him on the cheek and he turned his head and I got his mouth and…UGH! GROSS! So this time, he grabbed my arm and he remembered my name! And I was like, ewww, panic! He remembers my name! He then tried to get me into that corner again – who knows why he thought that would be okay with me! And I then wriggled out of his grip and was like I gotta go. He asked for my card and I said I have no more cards, bye! And ran upstairs. Later, I caught him staring at me from across the room while I was chatting with the short fireman. Can you say, creepy?! So after the other guys left for the night, the old black dude comes over and hands ME a business card from the establishment we were at, with his phone number scrawled on the back with hearts and flowers doodled on it. And I remember the dude who drove me home that drunken foolish night told me that this old guy is in his 60s. And that they ALL thought I was 26. Like, seriously? Yuck.

And then after the old dude left, Sandy went down to the bathroom and this other guy came over to me. He was from Angola but grew up in Portugal and lives here now, blah blah. Then he started speaking to me in French, then told me that he was on his way to this bar/club Nublu that I used to go to all the time, but he had bad skin and some odd doo rag thingy over his hair – that’s if he even HAD hair. I gave him my card – the best way to get rid of him – and then he followed me and Sandy out and for a second I was scared he was going to want to share a cab. So I insisted on sharing a cab with Sandy, but whoa, what a night! And I didn’t even drink THAT much! I had maybe 5 glasses of wine (with ice added to the wine) over a 5 hour period. And we actually ate some food. It was crazy.

Next evening, I went out with a good friend of mine “Sydney” who just got a job after being out of work for one year. We met up with another friend “Gary” after dinner and we went to this fancy hotel bar because Gary is connected there. Sydney ended up drinking a little too much wine and she started dancing with every person who came out of the bathroom. Just asking them for a little boogie and if they could spin her. It was kind of funny. After this one guy spun her, he reached for my hand and wanted to dance with me. He was kind of cute: tall, very very muscular – made me think of a football player. And he asked for my number, so I gave it to him. I haven’t heard from him though.

And yesterday was one of the best weather days we’ve had in NYC lately. All the crazies were out. I witnessed a petite blond girl violently hurl her half eaten egg sandwich right onto the tracks of the 6 train, when her #5 train pulled into the station. People are already walking around in flip flops (still too early for that I think) and mini skirts. There were just tons of people out.

Sandy and I went for a drink after work that lasted about 6 hours. Another impromptu night. We went to this great Spanish restaurant that’s around the corner from my office. The bar area was pretty full, save for these two bar stools that had their own counter space but faced looking out the front window. But on the counter space were 2 bouquets of flowers wrapped in paper and a box that looked like an Amazon package. So we asked some people if that was their stuff and could they move it. A well dressed older woman at the bar turned and looked at us incredulously, like how dare you ask?! She said it was wedding cake, did we mind if her group left it there? Seriously?! We were like, well we want to sit here lady, do you mind if it’s here with us? So one of the men she was with moved it to their bar area space and then the whole group of them went outside to sit on the bench in front of our window. For the rest of the night. The poor bartender had to take the crap off the bar so other customers could sit and have drinks. BIZARRE!

Then we wandered through the East Village and had some more drinks and then ended up at this burger place we go to quite often in a drunken state. (Bad.) There were lots of men there last night and a few of them wandered over to talk with us. I don’t recall most of what was discussed but when we left, two of them walked me to a cab, and the one who had a slight resemblance to George Clooney asked if he could take me out to dinner tonight and when I said sure, and gave him my card, he stole a quick kiss from me as I started to open the door of the cab. Kind of cute!

So I am meeting him tonight at 8:30. Will keep you posted!

Give me myself again…

So after working through the temporary setback that I posted about earlier with a good friend, I’ve come to the realization that I can’t let my ex-boyfriend and his actions control my actions or even affect them, considering the fact that he is no longer in my life. I’m moving on…

Basically, what I wanted to write about initially was the last few weeks, which have been incredibly busy with work and travel, but had some funny and inspiring moments.

I was in Europe for business at the end of February, and on the way home, I stopped at duty-free in the Italian airport, and bought this “abdomen and hip re-shaping treatment”. I paid about 27 Euros for it, because seriously, the European stuff works better than the FDA-approved stuff in the States. I used it the week before my beach vacation. I think it works! When you first apply the cream, there is this cooling sensation because one of the ingredients is menthol. Then after about 10 minutes or so, your skin feels really, really hot, almost like on fire, and that I believe is the red pepper-based ingredient kicking in. It’s kind of odd, but kind of makes you think the stuff works. Then the areas to which you apply the cream are red for about an hour, but you do feel firmer throughout the day. And my buns and thighs seemed smaller…but that could be partly because of my healthier eating habits and weekly Pilates workouts I’ve been doing since Christmas. Sigh. The things we women do to look good…but it’s kind of fun!

And since the trip to Europe was a lot of work over a short period of time, I was wiped out. I don’t think I had ever been that tired or stressed out before. My beach vacation came just in time! I went with two friends, though it took us about four days to finally decompress, it was exactly what I needed. Plus, my friend was the bookkeeper on the trip, tallying up our receipts and room charges and was so on top of it, it inspired me. Reading the March issue of O Magazine poolside about de-cluttering your life just re-enforced it all. I really want to organize my life more. Especially my finances. Ugh. Where do I start?!

And on another note, I just received two emails from two gentlemen online! One is a Ryan Reynolds doppelganger…hello!

A spanner in the works…

Grrrrr. Yesterday, I was so excited to write a post this morning about how I’m ready to start fresh. I just got back from a much needed beach vacation and am ready to put my all into organizing my finances, finding a new gig, and I also decided to sign up for online dating again. I am tired of being lonely. But it’s strange how life throws you these obstacles.

Late last night, as I was catching up on emails that came while I was away on my trip, I decided to just do it and sign up one more time for online dating. Why wait!? So after paying for my gold member status, updating the existing profile I had hidden from the last time I was dating, I went in search of some cuties. And there on top of the heap was my ex. It was as though I was a speeding car that suddenly came to a dead halt. He was listed as a 5 star connection. (The best you can get.) And I was feeling so good about life and moving forward. I mean, I can’t let it get to me too much, but all these feelings flooded through me and totally threw me off my game. Now I’m dreading going back to the site, but I already paid for it. Any tips on how to ignore his picture when it comes up? (Btw, his photo is one that was taken – with my camera – on a beach vacation that we took for his birthday two years ago…I was cropped out!) Aargh!

This is where my mind was when I was so excited about being back and starting anew: