Very focused into February!

NYC skyline photo courtesy of mikeleeorg @ Flickr.com

What a week! This past week was Social Media Week in NYC and I signed myself up for a few seminars. The first two were free, and though I learned a little in the first one: “The New Age of Social Media,” the second one “Fashion Goes Social: The Devil Wears Prada and Tweets About It” was just boring. I work in the fashion industry and I will admit, that I am in a pretty good position. The people at this seminar were newbies and instead of really going in-depth on how social media could change or grow a fashion business, they were primarily concerned with how new designers can take over the fashion world and all the fashion bloggers that are out there, like Tavi, the 13 year-old blogger that all the design houses and fashion magazines seem to be putting on a pedestal. Boring. I read blogs and I’ve read about this a million times…I went to the seminar to learn something new about social media. But it was free so I guess I should’ve known better.

 

Even for New York City this is bananas!

This afternoon, I went over to DUMBO in Brooklyn for brunch with my friend. Normally it takes me about a half hour by subway to get there from home (also in Brooklyn.) Unfortunately, the brainiacs over at the MTA decided that they would not only shut down my subway line entirely this weekend, but they would also shut down and re-route some connecting lines as well. Needless to say, after a one hour and 20 minute bus/train/running combo, I finally made it to Bubby’s.

After brunch, I decided to join my friend and go into Manhattan, in an effort to reduce the amount of time that it might take to make it back to my place. But again, after some more re-routing and an extra transfer tossed in, I finally made it to the L train (which would drop me off to where I would only have a 20 minute walk to get home.)

While waiting for the train, this cute guy next to me, turned and said to me, “Well, it could be worse.” My initial though was “Ugh, no buddy, this totally sucks!” But I just nodded and smiled and kept my Lily Allen playing on my iPod. Then he kept talking, asking me my name and where I lived. And then I heard his accent. Irish. And he confirmed it and told me that he’s been here for 10 years. That’s also when I found out he was stinking drunk! At 7pm! Wasted! He even said so!

He was going on about how he thinks that Williamsburg, Brooklyn has the most pretentious people in the whole world (oh, so he’s an expert on the WORLD?!) and so I told him I lived in Williamsburg. That was fun. So we’re on the train and he’s still talking about nothing in particular – the weather maybe – when this pretty, young, Latin woman carrying a bouquet of flowers gets on at the next stop and sits in-between us, and so he seamlessly strikes up a conversation with her. I thought “Thank God!” and popped my headphones back on. They chatted about how she was of Mexican descent and how the flowers were for her as she doesn’t have a husband or boyfriend. Blah, blah. As we approach the Bedford Ave. stop (where most of the “pretentious people” live), I swear, it sounded like he said to this poor woman, “I want to have sex with you.” She said “What?” And he said it again. She turned towards me with this horrified look, and the doors opened. He exited the train. Because I had to get off at that stop too, I decided to wait so that I could be a few people behind him. UGH! What a day…

 

Back in the swing of things…

I have been M.I.A. for the past few weeks, trying to get organized, and not much has been happening. But I had a mini-revelation this morning.

Around Christmastime, my friend D gave me a copy of “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” by T. Harv Eker, and it’s kind of fascinating. Reading it, I see some similarity to what Paulo Coelho says about the Universe bringing you what you want, you just have to want it, and put it out into the Universe. But in the Millionaire Mind book, Eker says, “The number one reason most people don’t get what they want, is that they don’t know what they want!” So true.

This morning’s chapter was about how rich people focus on opportunities. I want to be rich. Seriously. I mean, in all honesty, who doesn’t?? I have a few ideas on what my next step could be but I’m so unfocused, I’m just ambling from one idea to the other, and not exactly making anything happen. So I signed up for another class today. I saw that there was an online course being offered, Intro to Social Media. It starts this week, and goes for four weeks. When I first saw the course being offered (back in December), I noticed that I have a work conflict mid-way through the course, so I was thinking that I would put it off. But reading about how rich people focus on opportunities, I realized that this was an opportunity and that by not taking it, I was just stalling – and that’s what poor people do. So screw the conflict! I’m taking the course! I’m changing careers, and I’m going to make some money!

 

New Year, Fresh Start – Hooray for 2010!

So I have most definitely been dumped by “Paul”. I sent him a “Happy New Year” text message and got NOTHING in return. Kind of annoying considering that I actually thought we had something between us – I even went out and bought him a cashmere scarf for Christmas (luckily I didn’t give it to him, so I can now return it, and get my $70 back…)

But I think what I am going to do is really focus on finding a new job in this new year. I’m really exhausted by my current job and uninspired and unhappy. I’ve been there for almost 12 years and there is no more growing or learning to be had there. And just ignoring that (as I have been for the past few years) isn’t doing me any good.

So for now, I am going to continue my break from online dating. If I meet someone while I’m out and about, great. But I’m not going to actively pursue it as I was doing. I want to put all of my energy into finding a new gig.

My first step: I put up an ad today on Craigslist, offering my services in social media marketing for small businesses. Fingers crossed that someone responds!

 

Thank goodness this year is almost over!

The last couple of weeks have been keeping me pretty busy offline. Seeing a ton of movies (I recommend Nine and The Blind Side), last minute Christmas shopping, catching up with girlfriends, going out to holiday parties, champagne parties, and then, of course, all the family obligations for the holidays…it’s been non-stop!

But, I think I may have been dumped by “Paul” somewhere along the way. The last time I saw him was 11 days ago, and it was like pulling teeth to get him to leave his house. And since then, he’s been kind of distant, and has not really been responsive to my “would love to hang out sometime” text messages, and it’s always me trying to make plans. I’m kind of disappointed and am hoping that maybe once the holidays are over things will pick up again, but I get the feeling that they probably won’t.

Here’s what I think happend: I was excited about these holiday cookies I was planning on making, and I think he freaked out (unnecessarily!) by one of them. They were called “Mexican Wedding Cookies” but they just looked festive (and crumbly and nutty and yummy). I didn’t even notice the name of them. The reason I think that this freaked him out was because the next time I saw him (11 days ago) he mentioned that he’s not planning on getting married for a long time. (We were talking about how his mom bought him pots and pans for Christmas and how it was like what you would get from a wedding registry.) And did I mention that “Paul” is of Mexican descent?

I have no intentions of getting married anytime soon, and I haven’t even known him for two months! WTF? If that really is what it was, then men can just be so stupid! Aargh!

He had originally mentioned going to this black tie party for New Year’s Eve. The way he was hinting, I thought I was going to be invited to that. Haven’t heard a peep about it and it’s tomorrow night! Oh well.

I’m planning a night of yoga and getting spa services with my girlfriends for tomorrow. We’re all burnt out. Here’s to a better and more prosperous and successful 2010!

 

Find me on Facebook…

This week I went to a seminar about Social Networking, and I loved it! I want to become a Social Media Specialist! The man teaching the seminar is a professor at Columbia University, and he teaches a five-week course there on Social Media. How crazy is that? At Columbia University prices?!

Anyway, I learned a lot about LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter. It was so interesting, and I also found out that I’m somewhat of an expert on Facebook. (Although the professor was saying that at this point there is no such thing as a social media expert because these things are so new and changing often.)

Since I have a profile on Facebook, and was the person who created the Facebook Fan Page for the company I work for (we have 150 fans!), as well as a FB group for them, I had some experience in doing this, and asked him a question about something I’ve been struggling with for almost a year: adding administrators to the Fan Page. Later, at the break, three women attending the seminar came over to me to ask me questions! I was able to answer all of their questions about creating Fan Pages and the differences between the profiles, fan pages and groups and the pros and cons of all three for business. It was really cool that I could help them, and that I was excited about it! Finally! Excited about something new!

Maybe this is the new dream that I’ve been looking for!

The next day, I created a Twitter account for the company I work for and figured out how to post-date Tweets! And combined our company blog with the Facebook page and Twitter account. I am really loving this new challenge! I will be adding this experience to my resume!

 

Your next round is on the gentleman at the end of the bar…

Last night my friend invited me to an advanced screening of fashion designer Tom Ford’s directorial debut, “A Single Man”, and afterward, we stopped at a nearby bar to have a drink and discuss. (It was a beautiful film.) We had walked by this bar last week, after we went to see the movie “Brothers,” and thought it was new. We also discovered this bar is a great “first date” type of place! (If you’re in the NYC area looking for a spot to have a first date – I recommend Half Pint on W. 3rd and Thompson! Apparently their brunch is a very good deal…)

We were sitting at the bar, and later, as our bartender brought our second round of drinks, he said that our next round would be on gentleman sitting at the end of the bar. Wow! Surprising and flattering! What a smooth move! So we looked over at the guy at the end of the bar, he was a good looking guy, and mouthed a thank you. We were then struck with the following questions: What do we do now? Do we invite him over? Or will he just come over? I’ve only seen this happen in movies, and usually the guy will come over. But not this guy. Later, as I went to use the restroom, I ran into him coming out of the men’s room. I thanked him for the beer, and introduced myself. He gave me his name, and then said “for the two beers.” My friend was actually drinking wine, so I was little confused…and isn’t the plural of beer, just beer? Whatever. Anyway, when I got back from the ladies room, this guy finished up his drink and took off. Weird!

But now I’m wondering if I should have maybe invited him over or something? Did I not play this right?

 

Who pays?

This week has been pretty slow. I’m think I’m going to take a break from the online dating thing for now. I met “Paul” almost a month ago (online), and I like him and plan on seeing where things go with him. I saw him on Friday night – our 5th date! He came to my neighborhood and he suggested that I meet him for a beer at this new place he had heard about. It was a place that looked like a beer garden that I had walked past in August. Originally, we had discussed going to the movies (a non-drinking date!), but that didn’t seem to pan out since he wanted to hang out in my ‘hood – and there are no movie theaters anywhere near me. Anyway, when I arrived at the place, it was more like a beer store than a bar. It was pretty interesting. You could taste the different kinds of beer, they had like 20 on tap, but the atmosphere wasn’t the darkly cozy and cavernous beer garden that I had envisioned. It was more, “Yeah, I’m sitting at a cafe table next to a giant refrigerator full of beer with florescent lighting…yuck.”

Luckily, “Paul” suggested we go get something to eat. Finally! This would be our first real dinner date! He had walked past this cute Polish restaurant on his way to this beer store place, and so we went there. It’s only two blocks from my apartment, but I had never been inside! It was adorable! It was warm and charming inside, with decor made to look like you’re on a Polish farm or something, and the waitstaff (all women from what I could see) were dressed in traditional Polish outfits. It was cute. And packed! We had to wait 20 minutes for a table. And “Paul” was cute – as we were waiting for our table, he quickly turned to me, randomly, and stole a kiss from me. It was very sweet.

After being seated, we shared a couple of plates. Dinner was delicious and it was exactly the kind of comfort food I had been craving with the weather getting colder.

But then it was time for the check. Now, I always offer to pay for a portion, and I don’t mind splitting the bill. But this being the first real dinner date…and he asked me to go to dinner…I offered up my half of the $41 bill as a gesture, but um, yeah, he took it. It’s no big deal, definitely not a deal breaker, but when I mentioned it to some girlfriends last night, they were kind of surprised and advised me to make sure I make it to the bathroom the next time the bill comes. Is this a good idea? Or should the woman pay for her share?

 

I need to pay attention more…

So tonight, this being the last day of the month, I went back to Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone to re-read my horoscope for the past month (I was really looking for a head start on December’s horoscope.) I realize now that I should re-read these horoscopes more often! She warned about looking after my health mid-month… D’oh! I didn’t and somehow managed to get strep throat! And this was another prediction for November 2009:

“In matters of love, you are becoming more discriminating. Saturn just entered your fifth house of love, cautioning you to get to know any person you date well before entering into a full-blown relationship. Your new romantic interest may live in another city or be older than you. Be careful however, for there is one other possibility, that you’re new sweetheart may not be fully available, a detail that may not be revealed to you initially. Your new lover may still be married, or may be single or separated but still pining over a past love. Saturn, now in your fifth house, won’t prevent love to bloom, but will ask you to go slowly.”

This is interesting for me, because though I think “Paul” is a good guy and I enjoy spending time with him, things felt a little off on our last date. I’m not sure why. Maybe I need to slow things down a bit…I don’t know. And, it’s also interesting because on our first date, I remember “Paul” mentioning that his last relationship ended only about a month earlier…not really the best thing… in either case, I definitely need to get to know him better. Hopefully we can have a date where we do something other than drink. That will be a nice change. Any suggestions?

 

A holiday season struggle

I don’t know if it’s because I was sick and home alone for so many days, or if it’s because of PMS, or what, but now that the holiday season is upon us, I have been struggling with all these conflicting emotions.

I’m excited about having met “Paul”. He is, so far, a really great guy. I saw him on Saturday night; I went over to his place and we spent a low key evening together. He had gotten some fancy cheeses that afternoon at the cheese shop in his neighborhood, so we shared some of that with a baguette and wine, while talking about our different families and Christmas gifts. He is really into music, and was introducing me to some of his favorite new bands, and was playing a sampling on his iPod. And he is a really good kisser. Love that! He even brought up New Year’s Eve. If I am in town (I have been trying to plan a trip somewhere warm for New Year’s but it’s expensive…) I think I might have a date!

At the same time, I have been feeling nostalgic about my ex. Yes, I know that he is what Karen Salmansohn calls a “Prince Harming,” but he did have a lot of good qualities (though some friends of mine would disagree.) I keep thinking about “one year ago.” He first met my family on Thanksgiving. He was the first boyfriend I ever introduced to my family! I met his whole family two weeks later at his cousin’s wedding. We spent Christmas together, had a Holiday Party together, New Year’s together. It’s tough. But I know it’s not worth trying to relive the past. It’s over – behind me now. Gotta keep moving forward…creating new memories for next year…